The Bell Jar: Jo Bell's blog

"She lives the poetry she cannot write" – Wilde

Come and have a go if you think you’re weird enough

I view long, happy marriages as W C Fields viewed women and elephants – very interesting to look at, but you wouldn’t want one in your own home. But on Saturday, dearest chum Hannah and her bigger half Ian (one of the Patient Husbands of these pages) renewed their vows after ten years of marriage. There was poetry; there was happiness; there was blubbing. A jolly nice bash all round. If you want to hear the poem I wrote for the occasion have a listen to my podcast later this week.

Happy smily Foxes

Happy smily Foxes

Artist chum Heather was there, flushed with success at the launch of her blog. But we have discovered a sport still more thrilling than blogging. We call it humumenting, and if you go to www.humument.com you will begin to understand the Cult of the Humument. Now here’s a little challenge, dear reader. Take a long Victorian novel (you need the florid language, you see) and find a new text within each page…. Submit them via the comments box and the best humument-style piece by the end of August wins a splendid prize (no, seriously). So far the best contenders of mine are – ‘A buffalo opened the gates. There was room for both of them’ – ‘In the town hall under the churchwarden was his wife’ – and finally ‘Her ears would bring her into disgrace. This made her very miserable.’ Heather is doing better with ‘It was no mature woman who tormented the little stool. Hissed the stool – you love me – I like living like this.’ Come on and have a go!

This week I decided on the words for my companion stone; wrote a piece for Hannah and Ian; added to a fairly shameful collaborative poem by the Fourpenny Circus gang; and visited Derby Hospital with Hannah to present a calendar we are working on. Meanwhile George Edward Jesson (below) had the altogether more impressive achievement of being born, ambling into the world on Wednesday after two days of concentrated effort from his mother. Here he is with his dad Jonks – modelling roughly the same haircut too.

I apologise to a lovely librarian known (for our own private reasons) as Oi – and to all her colleagues – for my reference last week to a man who ‘looked like a librarian’ but drummed rather violently. Dear Oi has rightly slapped my wrist, and indeed her lot at Chester are particularly stylish as I recall. Will that do, do you think?

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3 comments on “Come and have a go if you think you’re weird enough

  1. Derek
    August 5, 2008

    Says George

    There’s my wife now
    at her tongues end; but
    sure to scarify my throat
    the next day, or else give me
    greens.

    “Ever hear the like?”
    laughing above her double chin,
    good humour aside,
    blinked and nodded
    but the intention lost it self in
    noises.

    from Silas Marner by George Eliot

  2. jobellonline
    August 6, 2008

    I should have known you would rise to the challenge young Adams!

  3. Pingback: String, sewage and the meaning of Ms « Bell Jar Blog

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This entry was posted on August 4, 2008 by in Writing exercises.
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